The Wisconsin Dells, Door County & A Lesson in Emotional Layers

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Sitting down last week to reflect upon our trip through the Wisconsin Dells and Door County, I felt a familiar discomfort within myself. You know that feeling when you are experiencing multiple emotions at once... often seeming to conflict one another?

That was precisely what was happening inside my body and mind.

"I feel disappointed about our trip, but feel this sense of shame that I should just feel grateful. Yet I am. I am so thankful and also disappointed and it's okay for me to feel both. Why do we have such an issue when two feelings that seem to contradict one another exist at once? It feels... unsettling somehow. But why? Why do we experience the dreaded 'should' that always seems to be dripping in self-judgment and guilt?" -journal excerpt, October 18, 2026

Our trip started out lovely as could be, driving through the stunning geographical landscape of the Driftless Region of northeast Iowa, through the northwest tip of Illinois, and north up into Wisconsin. The further north we drove, the more colorful the leaves became with an abundance of sugar maples dancing in varying arrays of saturation. We settled into our cabin (bus not quuuuite ready for the voyage) located in the beloved KOA campground of the Wisconsin Dells for some rest. Grabbing some delicious pastries, a matcha for me, and a coffee latte for Adam from Bella Goose Cafe on the River, we adventured along the Upper Dells on a Dells Boat Tour guided by two excellent of pilots and informative guides.

The boat meandered along the incredible Wisconsin River and we were able to stop and walk around exploring Witches Gulch and Stand Rock, two rock formations that took our breath away. The kids loved it and Lucy dog quickly gained the smiles and attention (even a piece of popcorn treat) from the passengers around us.

By late afternoon we were disembarking from our boat journey and headed over to Grateful Shed, an eclectic shed building that housed several different types of themed food trucks and vintage vehicles converted into booths and eating spaces, such as the VW van or the greyhound bus raised up to the ceiling. I was thankful to discover a kind-hearted chef there willing to modify something on the menu to support my gluten-free needs and the kids were pleased with the games and playfulness of the place.

Pausing at the cabin only to refresh for a moment, we continued on to the magical sunset adventure of Pewitt's Nest. The air refreshed my soul and I wished you could bottle that rich, refreshing woods air right up for future invigoration. We hiked along until we reached the most beautiful creek just down from a waterfall. Its many stones beckoned us inward where it was shallow and flowing gently. The kids immediately asked if they can take off their shoes and socks and at first I hesitated, inviting them to feel the water with the assumption that they'd find it too cold. The temperature didn't deter them in the least, and instead I felt my own feet aching for the water and stones beneath them.

We played and explored, venturing back and forth across the stones and settling briefly on a large boulder which then led to balancing back and forth on a fallen log. The child gymnast within me felt at home upon this natural balance beam and our children soon followed after.

Adam and I smiled at one another with nostalgia, noticing the youthful embrace of a young couple taking what appeared to be engagement photos on the other side of the creek in the golden sunset. After ending the evening with a fire and s'mores, we welcomed the cozy rain singing a cabin roof lullaby.

The next morning had us venturing north toward our next stay and destination for the rest of the week, Door County, Wisconsin. I was greatly looking forward to settling in for a bit longer stretch of time, relaxing on the sandy beach and gaining a more grounded sense of connection with the land around me. I could picture the kids playing in the same, myself writing and reading, Adam playing ball with Lucy along the shore. We finally got there after waiting briefly for our check-in time at a nearby park along the sandy beach... all antsy to get unloaded. The cottage from the exterior appeared more aged than represented in the listing, but "oh well," we thought. It had great reviews and the front yard was quite literally the beaches of Lake Michigan.

Then we went inside.

The air smelled old and musty but again I dismissed my own concerns, trying to make the best of it and just thankful we were there. I went to use the bathroom to discover the shower crawling with mold. At first Adam and I were just trying to make the best of it, thinking we'd spend as little time as possible in the cottage and unsure what we would do from here... stepping outside to talk it over quick.

Then out came our daughter who tells us, "I just had a vision. If we stay here we won't be able to sleep and will all feel sick." Which immediately made the decision simple, for she was right. She simply spoke her intuition boldly and confidently where I was trying to reason with it from the mind, knowing the challenge of finding another place last minute.

We loaded back up and I called the host, who thankfully agreed to refund our investment... but we now had another place to find. Trying to keep the frustration and overwhelm at bay, we revisited the coziest cafe discovered earlier in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. The Gnoshery, a gnome themed cafe and game store had board and card games galore available to play as you sipped and ate, as well as any game you could imagine available for purchase. We exhaled, feeling the safety of somewhere we could settle as the cold front came in and the sun began fading lower in the sky.

By the time we'd gotten our food we finally found another cottage run by a local business, this time in Algoma, that we booked though only available for two nights rather than the three intended. Exhausted, we were all so thankful to arrive and find it clean, well-kept, and oh so comfortable, with beds we were ready to sink into and amenities galore.

After unloading our belongings, we checked out the "Adventure Shed", delighted to find bikes of all sizes. Our four year old was ecstatic to discover a little blue bike that looked like a dirt bike, and off we went on an evening bike ride down the scenic lane before cozying in for the night.

The next morning Adam and I woke early, catching the cloudy sunrise over the lake and taking in the views, a cute little daisy mug of tea in my hand. The kids awoke shortly after and again we went for a little bike ride and enjoyed the slow morning before hopping in the car and back to The Gnoshery for lattes and breakfast and onward to Peninsula State Park, where fall beauty was astounding. With the goal of making it to Washington Island, back in the car we went even further north and boarded the afternoon ferry just as it began to rain lightly.

The grill we planned on visiting was closed, despite saying online that it was open. As the kids began crying for how hungry they felt, we discovered a little pizza stand near the ferry line to board heading back to mainland. Which brought us to our second big plot twist of the trip.

One we boarded, we got a phone call from a dear neighbor letting us know that the city was preparing to tow our bus! Our neighbors not only informing us of this unfortunate event, but also doing their best to speak to the city workers on our behalf. We called the city parking department ourselves, and the towing company, explaining that we would have been happy to move the bus immediately should we not be two states away!

Despite the stress, we were reminded of what a wonderful village we had back at home. From the neighbor friends coming over daily to care for our animals, to the neighbors who alerted us to the towing attempt and helped us figure it all out, to another neighbor checking in when something was amiss, to a friend willing to come move our bus, we had people from every direction looking out for us.

Journaling about our trip and these layers of emotions, the wind blew my pages back a few. And there it was, the answer to my emotional discombobulation.

"Vision for this trip:

Family time + making memories together
Autumnal beauty of nature
Slowing down the mind, being present
Writing, drawing, and painting watercolor
Long walks, stretching, play on the beach
Clearing my mind, being open and receptive to spiritual connection and nudges, releasing attachments" - journal excerpt, October 12, 2026

As I reviewed my vision and therefore expectations for this trip, two things became crystal clear.

First, here was my reason for feeling disappointed. Even though it held many beautiful memories, quality time together, and some of the most stunning autumn views I'd ever encountered with leaves of every fall color, I lacked time to reconnect with myself. There was no slowing the mind with the unexpected plot twists that had me on edge. There was very little writing and no drawing or painting, and far more time in the car than there was long walks or stretching on the beach. My mind felt more cluttered rather than less... but at the bottom of this list I chuckled.

Releasing attachments.

There it was. My reminder that I'd attached certain expectations to this trip with hope and anticipation. Yet my disappointment was caught up in these very expectations.

Often when we feel this blend of emotions that seemingly contradict each other, it is due to the preconceived notion of how we believed things would go. We create this version of our future reality completely within our own mind.

This example, a simple family vacation. Other times it may how we believed a family member would respond to us sharing something vulnerable we shared, how we thought a friend would act in a certain situation, the direction we believed our career would go, or even how we believed our children would grow up to be.

The tighter we hold onto our attachments of these expectations within our mind, the less opportunity we give ourselves to enjoy the unexpected journey of the present. Releasing these attachments to what I believed this trip would hold, brought clarity to see the beauty of what it actually did.

Phenomenal sights and connection with the natural wonders of Wisconsin
Family time and memories made together
A reminder of our resilience through unexpected challenges
The caring village of friendship that surrounds us, willing to show up and support us

and most of all...

Meaningful reminders of the unexpected joy found when we're willing to release attachments.

May your adventures deeper into autumn and beyond bring unexpected joy of the present, resilience, and community with the village you are honored to nurture.

Thank you for being a part of mine.

Ashley Kay