We've Been Homeschooling for a Year & Here's What I've Learned

"Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!" my phone buzzed, with the unexpected message from a dear friend. At first my mind went to somatic therapy, yoga, and meditation teaching... but when I realized she was acknowledging the homeschooling of our children my eyes brimmed. Teacher Appreciation. This was a concept and celebration massively overlooked within the experience of homeschooling, for it shows up so differently. This had me reflecting on how we've been homeschooling for a year now.

A little over a year ago now we made the decision to begin our homeschooling journey (read what I wrote last year here!). Since then, one of the toughest parts of homeschooling is feeling unappreciated. I have no principal to commend a job well done, nor parents that express thanks other than my husband. I don't receive a paycheck every month as a reminder of my value. No little treasures or notes brought in at the end of the year. As a woman whose lives to express and receive the "words of affirmation" love language, this can feel challenging at times. In fact, when I'm doing a good job enforcing boundaries or teaching character-developing lessons I'm met with the opposite from my students!

Because my students aren't simply students, they're my own kids. I'm not viewed as their teacher, I'm their mom.

And homeschooling is certainly not the same as school at home.

For example, I'm writing this from a local campground where we decided on a midweek camp to catch the Halley's comet meteor shower (Eta Aquarids). This launched a natural curiosity and discovery into constellations and discussions about space and our planet Earth.

I think the most common misconception is that we do the same thing as a public school day, just at our own kitchen table. Perhaps for some families this may be the case, but this is not what homeschooling looks like for us. Traditional coursework happens too, but at this stage it's mainly about encouraging their interests, going on explorations, following their curiosities, and LOTS of reading together.

This was also a major challenge for me. Not that I wasn't excited about doing exactly these things... but it's easily to fall into the trap of feeling like we're doing something wrong. Or falling into the silly but real trap of "not enough"ness.

Yet when I break down what I feel to be wrong, it has far more to do with my own insecurities than our children's needs and education.

We were taught that education only looked a certain way. We discovered that this way was not the best fit for our family, and chose a different path. Different can be freeing, but it can also feel scary! It can trigger the negative self-beliefs and doubts that are asking to be addressed. Most importantly, it keeps you focused on the why.

So why did we choose this path of homeschooling?

For them. And for us.

I chose to follow my motherly intuition when I saw our daughter's light fading fast. When the push to get her highly sensitive self to go to school became so intense that we knew her body was telling us no. Children are not just be little beings meant to do adults bidding... children are entire humans with autonomy and a great sense of connection to their purpose. It's our job to foster than connection, not train it out of them. While it's try that many loving and hard-working teachers do exactly that, we are gratefully aware that this is a privilege to do so ourselves.

It isn't just about them. It's about our whole family and what works best for all of us. We're a crew that loves adventure, nature exploration, and spontaneity. We love the freedom of my husband coming home and letting us know he got all his jobs for the day done early so we can take off for an evening of camping by the river. Having a kiddo with high sensory needs, we love visiting the library or youth pavilion on a quieter week day rather than a noisy weekend full of bustling noise. The kids love building things and releasing energy in fun and creative ways. We love our gentle and slow mornings, and I do best as a human when able to vary our schedule and have flexibility.

But most of all, we enjoy being together.

Not all the time, don't get me wrong. There are many days I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out if I can't get a moment of peace. Creating time for myself has been other biggest challenge and an area I'm actively growing in. Yet a recent study shared in the New York Post found that the average American family spends 37 minutes of quality time together daily. THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES! That was simply not okay with us.

There are still days I question this path we've chosen (especially during luteal phase), and it certainly isn't always the Pinterest-worthy image of organized lesson plans and joyfully calm and focused children. It is more often a bit a chaos and allowing our children to be their feral selves. I may look up from preparing lunch to find our daughter on the backyard swing with a chicken or rabbit in her lap. Or our son setting up a ramp for his monster truck to jump into a mud puddle. Whenever I'm at the end of my rope they show me a little sign that we're doing the right thing for them and for us. (Never forget that the right thing looks and feels different to each and every family unit!)

I may not receive apples or "number one teacher" mugs to demonstrate appreciation for my teaching, but thankfully, I'm a gardener!

"But Ashley, what does this have to do with homeschooling?" you may wonder.

Right now, we're in the planting seeds and nurturing seedlings stage. In years to come those seedlings will grow more established plants and require less tender and attentive care. They'll become more mature and capable of growing and learning more independently. And eventually, they'll blossom and share whatever it is their little selves are meant to share with this world.

It's not my job to tell them who to be, nor to rush their growth. It's my job to nurture them with the best environment to thrive that we can provide and enjoy watching them grow.

And right now, this is it. This wild, crazy, exhausting, winding path of homeschooling that I wouldn't have any other way. I can only hope the full measure of appreciation comes when they're adults and look back at their childhood with joy, and from the communities they reside in as they serve others in the unique way's they were meant to. Just like a gardener who spent many hours nurturing their little seeds, pulling out weeds and watering religiously, I hope I'm able to stand tall in admiration of these beautiful beings I had the honor of helping to grow.

Healing & Peace,

Ashley Kay

PS. In the time of writing this article we've spotted a bald eagle, a crane, identified various native songbirds, spotted a water snake, and the kids caught a toad!