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Make a Bigger Mess: How to Declutter Your Home and Your Heart

Sometimes you have to make a bigger mess to truly clean it all up.

This thought struck me hard as I was sorting through the massive pile on our daughter's floor and bed. I had just emptied the diaper box full of random items and the decorative storage basket that made for a perfect clutter hiding place. There was now a messy assortment of things that needed to find a new home, needed to find a place in ours, or simply be returned to their existing spot.

I sighed.

The mess looked far more intimidating now, strewn across the floor rather than hiding in that box in the corner. When it was hiding, I could pretend the room was clean... or at least clean enough. I could get the satisfaction of allowing myself to believe it all was as good and picked up.

Yet it still existed.

We all have that space (or seven) in our homes where we hide the clutter. It contains all of the random objects that you haven't had the time or energy to put away, as well as some things that need to find a new home in the donation or trash bin. For me, these places have included the top shelf of our daughter's room, my office corner, the laundry room, and that one section of the kitchen counter that I've forgotten what the countertop looks like.

In my efforts to minimize our home, declutter our spaces, and lighten the load within our lives, I've begun tackling these spaces. Since our home is simply an extension of our energy field this brought into my awareness the concept of feeling like we're creating a bigger mess before experiencing a significant positive shift forward. Sometimes it looks like the outward example I've shared. But more often this occurs within.

When healing our inner wounds and addressing our limiting beliefs and programming, it's like dumping our pile of unresolved trauma and emotions we haven't let ourselves feel all over the floor. "Dang, where did all this mess come from!? I didn't realize it was that bad!" we think to ourselves as we alternate between sobbing tears and the laughter of relief. We release the mess out into the open and bit by bit we truly address it, unwilling to hide or tuck it away any longer.

Sometimes it looks like bringing our unmet needs or suppressed resentments to the surface in order to repair and heal a relationship. It might seem easier to hide it away in that emotional box, but as you feel that box getting fuller and fuller you realize how much more beneficial it will be to intentionally take it out together. Through therapy or simply by making a choice to do so, you bring it out of the corner and each of you takes out the things that belong to them rather than letting it fill to the point of your box breaking as the contents explode all over... and you both end up casting blame as to whose fault it was that the box broke.

What do your (inner) boxes hold?

Do they contain:

  • physical, emotional, or spiritual trauma aching to be healed?

  • limiting beliefs keeping your from living the life you're meant to live?

  • relationship challenges that need to be addressed?

  • a lack of self love that is preventing you from showing up fully?

  • mental illness requiring further support?

  • the pain of loss?

  • debilitating fear of letting anyone know you even HAVE a box?

Whatever those boxes hold, both in your home and in your heart, dump them out. Make a bigger mess so that what is within can truly be clear to find its place once again.

Love & Healing,

Ashley Kay

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I'm a writer, energy healer, and plant-obsessed meditating mama on a mission of guiding women to Heal & Rise! For more about my story...

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