My First Farmer's Market

Taking a deep breath as I settled into our car after packing up my booth, I brought my hands up to massage my sore cheek muscles. Releasing the tension in my masseters, the realization of why they were so sore hit me. They were sore from smiling! Not from the forced kind of smiling, but from four hours of grinning from ear to ear, delighted to be connecting with such warm and kind humans in Cedar Falls, Iowa. From those who took the time to pause and skim my books or bring home a plant, to overhearing the passing "oh, cute!" as you noticed my little bouquets, to the heartfelt conversations shared, I was glowing in gratitude for my first farmer's market.

My cheeks were still aching a bit the next morning as my husband and I took the kids on a little Sunday morning adventure. He'd seen a little bakery that we'd yet to visit and any spot along a river has us easily convinced. Throw in the vision of delicious baked goods and we were joyfully on our way. After enjoying the best almond croissant I'd had in my life and the kids sharing bites of a cinnamon tea bun that had our toddler doing happy dances, we crossed the river from Gedney Bakery & Coffeehouse to explore closer to the shore. We ended up relaxing in Veteran's Park as the sun shone brightly in a vibrant blue sky.

"Want to go see the tank, kids?" my husband asked as he explained to our inquisitive little guy what they were used for. I paused, reflecting on it being Memorial Day weekend and giving a moment of silent gratitude for those who have fought and lost their lives to protect our country as we settled into the riverside park in Independence, Iowa.

I reflected even further on the idea of war, and the idealistic hope that this concept of "problem solving" between groups of people may someday become outgrown and obsolete. I recalled spending nearly our entire school career learning in history of the many wars fought and the commanders of these wars. Around the country there is no shortage of war memorials nor statues of male wartime heroes. But where are the statues celebrating peace?

"The trees," I heard as though whispered upon the wind. "The trees are the statues of peace."

I couldn't help but wonder if we learned more in our history about the women fostering peace beneath these trees... the mothers raising kind children and the elders guiding young ones in the loving ways of being of service to others... perhaps there would be less need for plaques commemorating the fallen.

As we see massive increases proposed to our military budgets while healthcare, housing, and even care for our veterans is reduced severely, I wonder, what is it that can combat this incessant killing and war within humanity? Obviously, a lofty question that is not to be solved by any one person.

Yet, immediately, the prior day's events came to mind.

A farmer's market in a small Midwest town. The coming together of those who grow and create meaningful goods and those who purchase them. The purity of genuine connection, joy, and conversation shared between people of all walks of life. The awareness of where one's food comes from, the appreciation of artistic pursuits, and togetherness. Children playing in the grass of Overman park as families and friends gathered with their coffees or delicious treats made with care. People choosing to get out and embrace the simple joys over dwelling in fear. Choosing connection over self-isolation.

And oh, the mothers... some of which glowing with joy and others appearing exhausted and frazzled as they tried to wrangle their little ones through the many booths of the farmer's market.

I had a conversation with a woman whose children had grown, hearing of how she'd juggled her own creative pursuits with the raising of her kids who now had children of their own. I shared a hug with a woman who has her own project in the works to support and uplift mothers in an incredibly important way. I exchanged grateful hello's to the friends who took the time to stop out of their morning to stop and encourage me. I snuck over to offer a bookmark to a little one who was starting to grow restless, watching the mother doing her best to keep her cool. And I watched as left and right, dog owners allowed children to pet their furry friends, smiles between strangers were shared, and "oh good, to see you!"s were exchanged between old friends who'd accidentally run into one another.

Our own children had bounced between being my little helpers, and adventuring through the farmer's market booths or playing in the grassy areas with a dear friend. Our seven year old helped hand out book marks and played our small steel tongue drum as Leo ran down the hill behind our booth, reminding me of the immense value of our much needed village. Standing in the shade of a beautiful "statue of peace", I knew I couldn't do this (the mothering or the market) alone.

I took a moment to dwell in the warm feeling of such support and connection as the river lapped gently at my feet, recognizing that there are so many of us in need of exactly that. It can too often feel that world happenings and societal structures are tearing us apart... creating painful division, hatred, and unnecessary death. Perhaps when fear and pain are pushed into becoming the status quo, joyful community and togetherness is an act of rebellion.

We may not all have the power to sign executive orders nor command troops, but we do have the power for this:

🌿 We can gather in peace.

🌿 We can support our one another and nurture our village, raising our children to know love.

🌿 We can foster self-sustainability within our communities.

🌿 We can connect with each other.

🌿 And we can choose joy.

A big hug of thanks to those who helped me to celebrate my first farmer's market experience. You can find me at the Cedar Falls Farmer's Market: May 31st, July 26th, August 23rd, September 27th, and October 25th.

Healing & Peace,

Ashley Kay

P.S. If you're a mom seeking a village of support and healing, I've just opened the doors to Nurturing Peace Within Motherhood: A 7 Week Journey from Overwhelmed to Peaceful, Chaos to Calm. You weren't meant to navigate this alone.