The Christmas Poem that Caught Fire & A Writer's Hangover

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

Sometimes writers experience this thing... this phenomenon that I can only explain as an emotional hangover. Allow me to explain.

When you write a piece that is full of raw emotion, getting it on the paper is cathartic. It feels as though by writing it you are releasing that which you were not meant to hold inside and freeing yourself from the reign of the words. It flows, your pen guided by an invisible force stronger than your own and you sign a satisfied breath of relief when completed. Perhaps there's a feeling of pride in knowing you've done good work and that you'll touch someone's heart today, if even one woman needing to read what you've written.

You hit publish (or share, or send) and breathe deeply again... now feeling exposed. Like being naked out in the open for all to see your intimate thoughts and beliefs. You're fully aware that while your words may inspire some and resonate with many, you'll also receive the other side of this coin of raw vulnerability. Those who are watching, reading, then thinking or feeling negative thoughts. Those who mutter to themselves or others, "Why doesn't she just shut up already?" or "Why does she have to write about THAT?" or "Can you BELIEVE what she just shared?".

I've done it. I've been on that side of the coin, judging others for what I'd yet to obtain the courage to do. And for a sensitive soul, I'll admit that the fear of letting down those I love strikes hard.

Enter... the emotional hangover.

This is what I call the period of time after sharing something creative that is so raw and full of feeling that your nervous system takes a massive hit. You experience all the fears and doubts and limiting beliefs rising to the surface. Everything from "so-and-so doesn't like what I've written" to "I'll never write anything this powerful again" to "what am I even doing?!" and anything in between passes through your mind. Thankfully, for me, this occurred over the holidays when I could set aside my work and be present with my family instead. But eventually, one must rehydrate the spirit.

Truth is, if we create meaningful art that invokes emotion, we will resonate with some and repulse others. Some may not be ready to experience what you have to share. Some may simply believe you to be wrong. And some will fear the truth of what you're sharing within themselves.

Create it anyway.

Share it anyway.

Write and sing and paint and sketch and play and express the truth that vibrates within your soul.

That said, here is the poem shared to hundreds of thousands on Christmas Eve (many thanks to Women Who Hold Up the Sky, artist Natalie Lennard and many others for sharing):

Holiday Peace Born of a Revolution

it's time for the dissolution of this massive illusion

the use of a book to hide behind self-serving beliefs harming others... but too many don't mind

simply because "they" aren't coming for one of your kind

"Follow Jesus" you say, then overlook the fact that he, himself, performed the most revolutionary act of loving ALL kinds every woman, man, and child instead we celebrate him a baby… soft, meek and mild

he challenged self-righteous priests, and dared share a table with WOMEN, the sickly, and those differently abled

coming into this world teaching love and acceptance not to preach pompously of shame, division, and fearful repentance

if only we were taught of Mary's powerful roar bringing forth from her young body this King that she bore

perhaps if we'd learned from the voices of Eve or Magdalene we wouldn't have been taught that women carried into this world, sin

if we’d learned to honor our women and mother earth as much as we celebrate this sacred birth

releasing that our bodies are shameful instead of a portal to the power of bringing Divine life into being during that most blessed hour

born of a virgin, pure and untouched it’s believed when this word once meant only maiden, sovereign and free

maybe our world would be made anew by sharing holy stories from Her point of view

perhaps if the lessons once taught weren't used to control and manipulate one over the resting place of their soul if there weren't the hiding and covering up of evil deeds using money for the ego instead of helping those in need

for only when these illusions of separation cease will we rejoice for the revolution that brought us all peace

Thank you for continuing to read my work. I'm deeply grateful for your support and the time you've given to read and ponder my heartfelt words on topics influential to women's true healing and empowerment.

Love & Healing,

Ashley Kay